last week has been a eye opener.
Monday I met up with Connie. Yes, That connie. After 5 years. We saw each other once more. She's a prime example why I believe in bonds. Bonds don't die. They left on plause.
I treated her out to dinner. We talked like there no filter in our mouths. Family, Porn, sex, doujin, Personal life. I took her to jabon in the east village. Where we ate sushi and others I haven't even ate before.
Afterward we took a scroll through Union square of the christmas stands and whats not. She brought us Hot apple cinder. I told her what been happening to me in the past. The death of angel, The misunderstanding of me and Cecilia which destroy the friendship (for now. Somehow I still hold on to hope!), and work as she told me her end of things.
Then we went to DSW because I encourage her to shop. I was waiting outside of the fitting room (no men allow!)
Giving my opinion on her clothes she was wearing. Her friend show up. I stay for a bit and said to be continue in Japan!
I got a text from Meghan that she want to hang out for dinner. I was like sure, why not?
It was raining like hell. My mind is in disrayed, The rain remind me of my emotions. My failures, What I am unable to do or achive. I shake it off.
I met up with her after work at 7:30. On time too.
We talked and walked in the rain. Catching up on things. I told her what been happening to me as she updated me with her life.
We ate such good food!!! I was so full that I'm still feeling it.
Wednesday wasn't much beside missing connie who went back to japan.
I thought about 2016. The fuckery it put on my mind. The stains I felt.
The emotions I went through.
I literary had a huge Emotional breakdown during 2016 about Cecilia when I saw her at Civil war. I was so uncomforable that I wasn't able to get hype about Spider-man. SPIDER-MAN.
Two days later I cried like hell and couldn't breath, Mind was on fire. Memories was flashing like hell. I wanted to amend our problems. Life is so short for bullshit. I missed our friendship so much its hurt. It really did hurt. I cried like no tomorrow. I had to force myself into a nap. It was too much to bear.
Even after all this. I had to carry on. Why Now? Why Wait now?
I suppose seeing her late 2014 while having coffe with Katrina broke something in me. A storm of sadness, a storm of emotion, a storm of happiness, A storm of regrets. A storm of memories that I locked it all away. I truly miss having her as a friend, I miss those days and wanted to form new ones but alias. She became so petty and set her grudge on me for good.
I have to move forward. That is the only way although I still somehow feel hopeful that me and her will amend our friendship. That hope is still there as long her anger for me exist. There is Hope unless of course she comment on this and telling me once and for all to go fuck myself. Then pretty much.
Work was something. I got shit done which was a good feeling for once. I went to work out in the gym, over working myself. Going to the gym on saturday if my plans failed.
Sabrina teased me with content to remind me why i'm nuts about her. I rush to the bank after gym to settle a incorrect balance which was fixed. More money to me.
Learn that I might get promoted to full time. Fingers cross